Wow what a ride.

I’m not talking about some big surf down a wave, or a ride on a new boat. I’m talking about my first steps in sobriety.

A few months back, 97 days ago to be exact, I was confronted with a problem that I’ve had for a while, but which I could no longer avoid facing. My alcoholism. Being the hardy sailor I am (Ok you can stop laughing now…) alcohol has been a part of my life for almost 20 years. Over those years I have seen plenty of sailors with drinking problems, and many who had it under control but really liked to let loose when they had the chance, but could manage things responsibly. (I always thought I was the latter.)

But the time came when I wasn’t in control. Too many parts of my life were intrinsically related to alcohol and I was finding it really hard to break those habits. And when I tried I couldn’t.

So I made the VERY BIG decision to admit I had a problem and to face it head on. Since then it’s been a wild ride of counseling, AA meetings and some really serious soul searching on how to reinvent my life clean and sober. It’s been quite a roller coaster so far as I make the needed changes and to figure out why it was I drank.

Those changes have been huge for me. I have moved the boat to Collin’s Bay Marina for the summer. I have had to really look at my daily routines. I have had to find new ways to hang out with people socially. It’s even affected how I look at sailing it’s self. It really has been life transforming.

In these early days, I have been very careful about avoiding things that trigger cravings for me, and I have been really trying to put my sobriety first until I get things sorted out in my head. Unfortunately, this has had an effect on my sailing, but to make this dream of sailing in the Mini Transat come true I have to be vigilant and really pay attention to this right now. The cancellation of the 2010 race means less pressure right now. Everything happens for a reason they say, and I was dealt some damn good cards on this one.

So to all of my friends, I want to let you know that I am OK. I know it appears that I have disappeared all together. I am just trying to put the focus where it needs to be right now. Thank you to all those who have emailed, called and dropped by the house. I really appreciate your concern and caring.

Alison and I are enjoying the time together and are hoping to get out and do some cruising soon. She has been so unbelievably supportive and caring through this tough period. Both of our lives are going to better than we ever thought possible.

As always, thanks for your continuing support and encouragement. It has meant so much to me.

Namaste,

n